I started my #100dayproject by painting a whole bunch of pansies without really planning anything out or thinking too hard about it - just one flower per page, no stems or leaves or backgrounds. I didn’t even consciously set out to do pansies (honestly, I never really liked them before this), there were just a lot of them blooming at the time and I had a set of new gouache paints that I wanted to try out, and some of the colors matched some pansies I saw perfectly. So I started painting them on a whim, and then I began noticing pansies everywhere. They came in so many different sizes, shapes, colors, and patterns: some were stout and cheerful, some frilly and a bit prissy, some were more perky, some were even kind of saucy. I started to feel like I understood them, I was one with the pansies. Five petals: two up, two to the side, one down - but so much variation within those parameters. I started assigning them their own little personalities as I’d paint them. Then I did some research - the word pansy comes from the French “penser”, meaning to think (maybe because they resemble faces looking down in contemplation), and they were historically given to show that someone was in your thoughts. I started to spend more time planning my paintings, began painting them a little larger, allowed myself to spend more time getting lost in all the intricate details, and kind of meditated and thought about a specific person while painting, imbuing them with more meaning. Every time I thought I was done with pansies and ready to move on to some other flower, I’d discover some other aspect of them and get all excited to paint more pansies!

At the same time, I was getting discouraged - I couldn’t keep up with the painting a day thing and paint the way I like to paint. I knew this - I had the same problem last year and I told myself I didn’t have to do a painting a day and I wouldn’t fall into that trap again, but I of course stumbled right into it! I think I got caught up because in the first few weeks, I was painting a whole bunch at a time and just churning out so many paintings (never mind that I didn’t really love anything I was making)!

I had a breakthrough when I painted these two yellow and red guys (which also coincided with my pansy-painting-penser/meditation/contemplation practice) - I spent a lot more time on them and I love how they turned out. But then life lifed at me pretty hard (work got super busy, a kiddo was having some troubles, I had a couple of non-floral painting commissions that took precedence, etc.). I had a rough two weeks where all I wanted to do was paint my pansies, but I only had a few minutes a day to do so and I wasn’t making a lot of progress. I had also started a couple of non-pansy flower paintings but couldn’t find the time to finish them (and I wasn’t as excited about them as my pansies, anyways), so I had nothing to write about here or share on social media and I felt like I was failing at the whole 100 day project thing (again).

Last week was my kids’ Spring Break, and we took a trip to New York City, and I didn’t do a bit of painting (didn’t even bring a single art supply) - I was ready to give up on the whole 100 day thing, but the time away gave me a new perspective. The flurry of activity I had in the beginning - all the quick, bad paintings where I was kind of just playing with no real plan - that’s what led me to what I really want to be doing. And I think that’s just how my (maybe everyone’s?) personal art process works - periods of exploration and making lots of “bad” art leading into periods of just getting completely and utterly captivated with some weird idea that I can’t stop obsessing over and maybe eventually making some good stuff, then doing it all over again.

I began this project thinking that after 100 days I’d have a body of work that I’d be proud of, maybe not 100 pieces but definitely like, 50 really good ones (lol). At 50 days in, I have only two (TWO!) completed paintings that I really like. I’m ok with that? I’m overflowing with ideas. I wish so badly that I had more time to devote to painting. I’m still obsessed with pansies. The irises are blooming. I’m going to keep going. I’ll slowly work on my big pansies, and I’ll keep exploring and make some more bad art about some other flowers until inspiration/obsession strikes again. I’ve been working a lot in my garden, getting my hands in the dirt, and planting a whole bunch of future inspiration. Here’s to the next 50 days!

100 Day Project Update - The Halfway Point

Leslie Leonard

Art & Illustration